Tagged: new relationships

February 10, 2018

So Its Comet, The New Buzz Word In The Poly Lexicon

My mono partner’s Comet has popped up. And I am so happy for her shes dipped her toe in and has been entranced in NRE, she is full of smiles and happy and it’s so nice to see.

couples / relationships

December 18, 2017

Do Age Gaps Matter In Love? We Have The Truth!

What difference does an age gap make when it comes to love? Are there still age-related dating taboos? Using anonymous search data, we now know!

So now I am getting older I am starting to notice it's harder to pick up a younger woman, so in this blog we’re going to be talking about what us 30+ year old men are doing wrong with the younger women. If you are younger than 30 this is something that will be affecting you in a few years, so get ready. The Younger Women Types As usual, we need to get our definitions straight. The younger women I’m am going to be talking about is a women between the age of 19 and 25. There are three types: The Younger Women Type 1, These are those who are disgusted at the thought of dating any man older than about four or five years older than they are. The Younger Women Type 2, These are those who are extremely turned on by much older men, and are usually turned off by, and bored with, men in their own age range or younger. The Younger Women Type 3, These are those who really dont care about a person’s age and don’t make a judgment about it one way or the other. So lets set the guides a little this older man, younger women stuff generally applies to any man is looking to date, sleep with or marry a woman of legal age who is more than 10 years younger than he is. Since men hitting up women within one to nine years younger is considered normal by society in most cases. Here then are some mistakes men most often make when trying to attract the younger women. Mistake 1: Acting Younger Older guys who say “I’m 36, but I look 30, so I tell women I’m 29.” or guys in their 30s and even 40s who try to dress, act, and talk like men in their 20s. While there are normally exceptions to every rule there isnt one here and this approach does not work. It fails for a very simple reason Type 2 Younger Women who like older men wont like you. The other two will see you acting like a younger man and lying about your age so this doesn’t make any sense. If you’re over 30, you will never, and I mean never sleep with a Type 1 Younger Women unless you’re paying her. Type 1's are horrified at the thought of having sex with men much older than they are. Trust me, act your age, be cool and non-creepy. I’ve been doing this for years, and to this day I’m still surprised how fast and easy it is once you find those Type 2's of course. It’s true that if you’re really good looking or have extremely strong game you can overcome the fact that you’re acting younger and score with those Type 2s anyway, but why create the extra work for yourself? I am the exact opposite of these act-younger guys. Whenever I go out on a first date, not only do I not act young, but I will often play up the older man aspect. I know that since she’s agreed to a date with me, she’s not a Type 1, so she’s either a Type 2 or a Type 3. So dress a little classier, talk a little slower, drop the energy level down just a little, talk more about the wisdom you’ve learned over the years, and exhibit other older-guy behaviors. Mistake Number 2: Acting Like A Creepy Older Man If you’re older and she’s much younger, you need to be non creepy. If you start talking about how hot her boobs are or tell her how you “can’t wait to get her back to your place”, she’s going to vanish fast, even if she’s a Type 2. The Younger Women, even Type 2's, are sensitive about creepy older men as they should be. So instead of being that creepy older guy, you need to be a confident, safe guy. You need to focus on being confident, outcome independent, non-reactive, and classy. And if you think that next move might be considered creepy just don’t do it, especially if you’re talking over texts or online. I see way too many older guys who do have chances with younger women completely blow it by being too creepy, too verbally sexual, way too fast. Mistake Number 3: Letting Yourself Go Some older guys think they can wing it with their personal appearance and look just like a normal, every day guy just like they did back when they were 25. Back then sure, you could dress like crap and not worry about your hair or your clothing too much, and still probably get laid. But if you’re mid forties hitting up 23 year-old women, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to step it up a little. Being fat, or having hair grow out of the side of your neck, or dressing in styles that were outdated 20 years ago might be perfectly okay for women your age, but it won’t be okay for the younger ones. You must take care of your physical appearance more than you did when you were a younger. This includes your body and clothing. You need to look like Brad Pitt. I sure as hell don’t. But it does mean you need to pay attention to your body, grooming, and fashion and place a higher priority on these things if dating much younger women is something you’re interested in. Good-looking older men really do rule the roost in a very real way. Mistake Number 4: Social Programming Some older guys who would really like to date younger women, and be good for them, stop themselves because they have thoughts like… I shouldn’t date a woman that young. It’s just not right. No woman that young would ever be attracted to a man my age. Everyone will think I’m shallow if I dated a woman that young. A relationship with a woman that young would never work. We’re in completely different places in life. These are all thoughts coming directly from Social Programming. And as such, these thoughts are all in your head and bullshit. Lets tackle each one at a time I shouldn’t date a woman that young. It’s just not right. There is absolutely nothing wrong or unethical about dating The Younger Women provided these three things are true: She is of legal age of consent where you both live. The relationship is 100% consensual on her part. You are always 100% honest with her, and are not lying to her or leading her on. If you’re being completely, 100% honest with her, and she’s willing, and she’s legal, go for it. Date all the younger women you want. There is nothing wrong about it. When one of the three rules above are broken there will be serious problems. So always check her ID, be honest, always make sure it’s consensual, and be rewarded with a clear conscience. No woman that young would ever be attracted to a man my age. There are millions of younger women out there who are dying for a confident, non-creepy, older man to sweep them off their feet. Its estimated that at least 15% of younger women are Type 2's. Believe me, those women are out there. Everyone will think I’m shallow if I dated a woman that young. Many over-33 women are going to be mad at you, when they see men their age dating younger gals it is one of the biggest threat to these women, and many of them can’t emotionally handle it. Other men your age, who are married to old, nonsexual wives may also be upset, so yeah they will think you are shallow. But there are two responses to this... First off So fucking what! If some forty-something glares at you when you walk down the street with your 20 year-old, that’s her problem, not yours. She’s more than welcome to go have sex with a 20 year-old guy. So fuck them but thats a different blog :P. The second answer No one said you need to get serious, if you simply want a younger woman as an occasional fuck buddy, go ahead. Date younger women in whatever capacity you desire. Just make sure you don’t lie to them or lead them on, remember our three rules above. A relationship with a woman that young would never work. We’ll be in completely different places in life. Remember what I just said, you can date younger women, but you don’t have to get serious with them. Keeping things casual is perfectly fine again as long as you’re honest with them! Most women this age aren’t going to want a serious relationships anyway. That said, I can tell you from experience that being in different places in life has absolutely nothing to do with how happy you will be in a relationship, provided the man and woman are attracted to each other and have compatible personalities. Now don’t forget that just because you date younger women, you can’t keep dating older women too. I have a woman in my life right now who is 27 years old, and she’s fantastic. Unless you choose to live a monogamous lifestyle (hmmm), you can date women of all ages, younger and older, and probably should. No reason to limit yourself to one or the other.

couples / Dating / Plenty of Fish / POF / polyamory / relationships / Sex

September 3, 2017

Trying To Find Younger Women? Here Are The Mistakes Older Men Make.

Now I am getting older I am starting to notice it’s harder to pick up a younger woman, so in this blog we’re going to be talking about what us 30+ year old men are doing wrong with the younger women.

The Mono-Poly Diaries: Supporting Your Poly Partner

polyamory / relationships

September 2, 2017

The Mono-Poly Diaries: Supporting Your Poly Partner

I took a long break from writing The Mono-Poly Diaries because I felt quite unsettled, but I have been looking at tips on how to be a supportive partner to a polyamorist.

Are about to be dumped? Here are the tell tale signs.

couples / Dating / relationships

August 30, 2017

Are about to be dumped? Here are the tell tale signs.

When a relationship begins to stagnate, that’s when we need to introspect and see what’s gone wrong. Are you about to be dumped?

Dating

August 30, 2017

Reasons Why I Am Unfit For Dating

Why I Am Unfit For Dating, I can’t Netflix and chill, at best we can obsessively browse through Tumblr on our own phones until it’s time to go home.

Naked / relationships

August 30, 2017

Littlebixxie’s 5 Steps to Self Love

Sometimes I get stuck in ‘why does he/she/they dislike me?’ mode, and even if it’s someone I don’t care about and just want to be civil towards, it gets to me.

I Call Bullshit, On The 8 Lies I Tell My Husband

Dating

August 17, 2017

I Call Bullshit, On The 8 Lies I Tell My Husband

I was reading a little piece on Huffington Post called 8 Lies I Tell My Husband (That Actually Make Our Marriage Stronger) by Lucy Clarke, and quite frankly, I call bullshit.

fetish / s&m / Sex

August 10, 2017

Being a Masochist: A Beginner’s Guide

For the first 25 years of my life, I had no idea that I was a masochist. I didn’t understand what people get from being in pain.

Modern Love: Marriage in the 21st Century

couples / relationships

July 15, 2017

Modern Love: Marriage in the 21st Century

There’s no point in planning for one perfect day. A perfect wedding does not guarantee a perfect marriage. Nothing can. That takes work, commitment, forgiveness and unwavering love.

BDSM / s&m

May 28, 2017

How Can I Be A Dom / Domme

So you want to be a Dom. You’ve had a think about it, you’ve dreamed about it, and you’ve decided that it’s for you. Now lets take the theory into practice. There’s a distance between...

The Idiot’s Guide To Casual Sex (How not to be a dick)

couples / Dating / Plenty of Fish / relationships

April 30, 2017

Casual Sex The Idiot’s Guide How Not To Be A Dick

There are plenty of hot people looking for casual sex with no-strings-attached, and with the rise of dating apps like Tinder and Grindr, it’s never been easier for you to, accommodate them.