Why Don’t I Get Responses On Dating App
So welcome to the 2020’s we have all faced a pandemic and all joined and got your dating profile up and running: you’ve carefully curated the pictures included and proofread your bio within an inch of its life. You start swiping like a lunatic and then sit back, waiting for the matches to roll in, but nothing—pretty much radio silence.
What’s the deal? Before your self-esteem starts to take a nose-dive, step back, take a deep breath, and let’s look at the situation. In all likelihood, it’s your profile that’s causing the problem. What looks perfect to you may not be working in your favour for several reasons: and we can help with this.
Use the guide below to make sure your dating profile is up to par, and then watch those mutual matches roll in!
Choose Your Pictures Wisely
Applying a filter to your photos is very, very tempting: I get it. We did a post by a friend here on how to take photos a while ago. Why not use the smoothing tool to knock a few years off your age, or the eye enhancer thing, or the teeth brightening button, or the….and then, suddenly, you don’t actually bear much of a resemblance to your actual self anymore. This is a bad move: firstly, anyone you meet online and date will find out what you look like at some point, and, secondly, more than likely, you look lovelier in your original skin than you do in your digitally enhanced one. Filters are usually reasonably easy to spot and often work to put off a potential match: not the result you’re looking for.
And please, please, please reconsider any photos you’ve used that feature some sort of filter that gives you bunny ears, or a cute wittle cat nose, for example. Your potential dates want to see what you really look like, and, honestly, if they’re looking to date a domestic animal, you don’t want them to match with you, anyway.
So, to get started, if you’re struggling to reel in the likes, then carefully assess the pictures you’ve posted: remove the filters, make sure there aren’t too many pouty-style selfies, and try to avoid group shots.
Optimizing the pictures you include is going to boost your profile, and you may well be surprised at how quickly you start seeing results.
Getting Your Bio Right
Getting your bio right is a slippery fish: too lengthy, and you might lose potential matches; too short, and you may not stand out from the crowd. Have a look at your dating bio now. In a succinct fashion, does it allow someone to get the gist of your personality, and what makes you super special? You don’t need to list a full resume of all your accomplishments since childhood, but don’t be afraid to include some of your successes or things you’re proud of. If you’ve recently set up in business, but this in; the same goes if you just graduated from night school while working a full-time job, volunteered for the first time at a shelter, or hiked a trail you’ve always had your eye on. This is a great way to give someone a little window into your life.
Be sure to include things that are important to you and deal breakers. If you’re only interested in looking for a serious relationship, then be sure to indicate this, for example. The nature of dating apps is the proliferation of choice they offer; swiping and matching is so easy that, for many, ambiguity could mean being dismissed from consideration.
So, to sum up, the profile score: if you’re not getting any responses, firstly, make sure that you have completed a bio and not left the box empty. Secondly, answer as many of the questions that the dating app asks as possible to let potential matches get an idea of your personality, your lifestyle, and your preferences. Lastly, when it comes to the content, keep it short and sweet, and include some pertinent facts that highlight your awesomeness and unique personality. And injecting a bit of humour won’t hurt, either.
Up Your Messaging Game
Online dating is often a game of averages: you may need to spin the wheel a lot to get a win. So think about how you’re approaching messaging. If you’re getting matches but not getting any subsequent messages, then consider the extent to which you’re sending a first message and the extent to which you’re waiting for the guy to make the first move. If you tend to drift into the latter camp, then you may need to simply be prepared to initiate contact more regularly. Guys can be shy about sparking up a discussion, too, and so help them out by breaking the ice.
If you’re sending messages that, in the main, aren’t generating a response back, then we need to look at a new strategy when it comes to your missives. One of the biggest mistakes is sending a message that doesn’t include a question. It sounds obvious, but a conversation is a two-way street, so make the road smoother by actively engaging a match with a great question.
Avoid anything too generic, like, ‘how are you?’ and its ilk; instead, consider asking him about the last band he saw live, what he thought about the ending of the last Star Wars film, or about details of his job, if he’s listed some basic information about this in his bio. Everyone loves talking about themselves, so use this to your advantage to boost the number of responses you’re getting to your messages.
Ensure, too, that your opening messages especially aren’t too long and wordy. You’re looking to catch his attention and generate a sense of intrigue, and these should be the two factors that you keep at the forefront of your mind in any interactions you have with matches or potential partners on a dating site.
Think About Your Swiping Habits
Finally, if you’re not getting the matches you want, then it’s worth thinking about your swiping game. It’s easy to dismiss the vast majority of profiles, only swiping right on maybe the most attractive 1% of the dating app population. By narrowing our options so drastically, however, we’re not doing ourselves any favors. It’s worth bearing in mind that photos aren’t the whole story: someone who may not blow your mind in a profile picture you may find very attractive in real life. It can be hard to capture charisma, or the essence of someone’s true personality, in a few profile snaps, and you could be inadvertently passing on some truly great matches.
So think about casting a wider net and perhaps taking a chance on matching with those guys you find nice-looking and share some common interests with, and not just the fabulous-looking ones regardless of their bios. You never know; your Mr. Perfect could be hiding in plain sight.