Sex Acts That Are More Normal Than You Think
If you’re embarrassed by daydreams of being tied up and given a good spanking, don’t be. They’re not so weird after all: Almost half of the people in a recent Canadian survey published in the Journal of Sex Research admitted to at least thinking about sexual behaviour considered “anomalous” by psychiatric standards, and a third have even engaged in the behaviour at least once. It turns out some of these so-called ‘taboo’ behaviours are actually pretty common.
Here are some of the common fantasies:
Voyeurism
Almost half of the people surveyed have fantasies about voyeurism or watching a stranger get undressed or have sex. About a third copped to doing this deed.
Fetishism
About a quarter of respondents confessed they’ve indulged in fetishism, or being aroused by a nonsexual object like a pair of high heels or a silk scarf.
Exhibitionism
Thirty percent of people admit to having had sex in public or in an area where there was a high chance of getting seen or caught.
Masochism
Almost 20% of people lived out the fantasy of being sexually aroused by being dominated or humiliated by another (think handcuffs).
The people surveyed were by no means, sexual deviants.
Past studies in students and weren’t shocked that many were experimenting, but this was the first time we looked at the general population. And yet, although all of these behaviours seem fairly mainstream, they’re still considered abnormal in the most recent Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Association.
All the behaviors are classified as paraphilic disorders, which is defined as any intense sexual interest that doesn’t involve genital stimulation or fondling with your partner. It’s outrageous that people who are tied up or get turned on by having their feet rubbed are classified in the same category as pedophiles.
Some of these activities, like frotteurism and exhibitionism, are clearly illegal, and no, we don’t recommend exposing yourself at Asda’s or rubbing up against someone on the underground. But most of the time, these behaviours, as long as they’re done between two consenting adults, is healthy and fine.
The research suggests that the more so-called kinky sex people admitted to, the happier and more robust their sex life. Less than 10% said to us it was a regular practice—otherwise, it was something they tried on occasion to spice things up, It only becomes a problem, he adds, if either you or your partner feel uncomfortable doing the requested activity, or if it becomes obsessive (for example, needing to look at porn for hours, or insisting on wearing a nurse’s outfit every single time you have sex). Otherwise, grab a feather duster, paintbrush, ping-pong paddle, or captain’s uniform, and role play away.
