What Do I Write In The First Message? Online Dating in 2020.
Come on its 2020 if you are single you are currently signed up to some form of online dating Bloody Lockdown has us all setting up a date for when we are allowed out the house again, so this is a crash course on writing that first message you know that really important one to get in contact with someone you want to get to know better! With this post, we will get you away from the boring ‘hi’, but also better than you have nothing better to do 1,000-word essay club.
Below will take you through how to avoid the common mistakes and help you get on the right path to making that perfect first message.
Read and fill in your own profile
No matter how great you write your first message, it’s going to be deleted unless you have a profile to backup your words. This first message your are sending is a signal flare to your match shouting Please look at my profile! Completing your online dating profile with multiple pictures, a nice bio, interests and if the site has them answer some auto questions. Will give whatever you decide to write a good grounding.
Now READ!! your date’s profile thoroughly
Read their profile closely and pick out an interesting point or two about them. People include things or activities they’re passionate about, as these are the things they’re most comfortable talking about. Do they have a cute dog? Have they got photos of them sailing a boat? Mention this in the message.
Find an open-ended question to ask
Know you have found that interesting topic, simply think of an open question to ask them on the subject – “Hi Jane, how was studying in Manchester? I used to live there too.” This type of question is one that invites a conversation rather than a simple “yes” or “no”.
Don’t panic if you think your question isn’t the best that ever was
We are all going through the same process, of coming up with something to say. Everyone knows it’s not always easy, so don’t worry if you think your first message isn’t a deeply meaningful one all you’re initially trying to do is get the conversation going, and the person you’re messaging knows that too.
Watch your word count
As I said at the start the 3 letters Hey is rubbish but you also don’t want to write an essay. The key is to be brief but interesting enough to get your match to come and read your profile, and easy to respond to. You shouldn’t spend more than a few minutes writing that first message. Ultimately, you don’t know enough about your recipient yet, or if they’re interested in you, so don’t waste effort writing a lengthy intro, that can come later.
Following the steps above, I know you’re going to be writing a personal message, and not sending a generic “Hey, what’s up?” I like to use the recipient’s name in the first message to show them right away you have read their profile, and you’re not messaging everyone, who you might not even really be interested in.
Before you hit send,
Always check your messages for any spelling or grammatical errors. A sloppy first message indicates you’re probably too lazy to even bother writing to them, let alone actually be genuinely interested in them.