I Wanna Try Being a Dom Or Do I?
Ok so I am going to come at this from a male view you have come here because you have asked yourself “I Wanna Try Being a Dom Or Do I?“. It’s super exciting! It makes your boy parts get all tingly and shit. That’s awesome truly! I want to encourage you to explore this new found side of you…
BUT before you try being a Dom
The person you choose to engage with to take this journey with you, they are a real person! With real emotions and there are very REAL consequences (be it good or bad) to your actions.
Here are a few tips to remember:
1. Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy dynamic. And in my opinion, even more so in people who wanna try being a Dom.
If you want someone to submit to you, they have to trust you. The extent of that trust depends on the depth of the relationship. A play partner has to trust that you will keep them safe, respect their limits, and not violate their consent.
And a LTR requires that and more.
Look. We play around with some pretty crazy stuff beyond even the physical stuff. Walking into someone’s mind and shuffling the papers around can be a dangerous thing. Sometimes when you open those boxes, they can not be sealed back off. You need to be aware of what you are doing… which brings me to my second point.
2. Educate yourself before diving head first in the dark waters.
No one gets in the ocean and expects to swim 10 miles their first time… or their second… or their 45th. It takes patience, training, education, and practice.
Every one was new to this at some point. Find someone with experience. Ask questions, learn. Do not be embarrassed. And if someone makes you feel shitty for asking questions…. then you probably don’t want to learn from them any ways.
3. Observe other Dom’s AFK
Online D/s is so much different than real life. It’s easy to think you are a big, bad sadist online. I mean thinking about whipping a girl until she bleeds may excite you, but when faced with the actuality of doing that same act in real life…. you may have a very different reaction.
Watch others. Going to dungeons and seeing it up close and personal can be incredibly educational and intoxicating or mortifying. You won’t know until you slam the laptop closed and git ‘er dun.
4. Your new partner shouldn’t be your guinea pig
This is not a approved study for you to see what the outcome will be. Be cognizant of the effects that your actions will have on another person. There is a reason there is the saying “Hurt, Not Harm”
If you aren’t sure how your actions could damage your partner refer to the above bullet points.
5. Shit! I thought this is what I wanted I was being a Dom, but now I’m not so sure
Don’t just drop your partner on his or her ass.
If you form a deep connection with someone… grab your balls and fucking say something.
If you want to be all Dom’ly and can’t even muster up the courage to talk to your partner about your misgivings. Do us all a favor and just consider this is not the right dynamic for you. No one wants a Dom who is like a cocker spaniel pissing all over the floor because he’s too scared to alert someone he needs to go outside.
6. Don’t lie
This really is the end result of all of the above.
Don’t oversell your experience. Don’t pretend you are something you are not. And don’t play around with shit you don’t understand.