Real Doms Don’t Eat Pussy!

I recently got a message from a D type follower on Fet asking me if it was ok for him to eat his sub’s pussies. He loves eating pussy and many of them love receiving it but he was feeling bad and unsure since both s and D types had told him this was not Dominant behavior. Since I feel very strongly about this subject I wanted to write a piece and hopefully, my thoughts will be useful and get some more pussies licked!

My immediate answer was the following:

1. Any and every act can be Dominant if you make it. Tying up a girl so she can’t move with her legs splayed open and eating her pussy hard until she begs you to stop with teeth sunk in deep is going to feel pretty damn Dominant!
2. There is nothing submissive about eating pussy. I love it, my partners love it and I see no damn reason why it should be a submissive act. In fact, that idea really pisses me off. Nope!!
3. I believe every Dom should decide for themself what acts they want to do and not give 2 shits what any other Dom thinks.

So FUCK the haters and eat pussy, my friend!!

But it begs a wider question about #2: Do you think there are certain acts that are inherently Dominant or submissive by nature? Does liking certain sexual things make you one side of the slash? I don’t believe so, but it seems to be an ongoing debate.

I know plenty of Dommes who can make a cock sucking into a very Dominant act with orgasm control, CBT or with some other narrative about how the male sub’s hardness or cum is a service to them. But still, many folks associate pussy eating with submission. So there must be some weird gender issues mixed into this soup.

I know D types who loved being fucked in the ass by female partners and can absolutely top the pegger into doing this act in any way they want. But many people think a man getting fucked in the ass must be bottoming. I was once in a gym where two bros were flexing their muscles in front of the mirror together and one complained to the other that his girlfriend has tried to touch his ass in bed. He told her not to do that because he wasn’t gay. I was deeply shocked! Is my asshole a place that the mere touching of, by even a woman, could turn me gay? How fucking absurd!

Some people think a woman riding a man is more dominant than her being fucked on all fours. Does ‘being’ on top make you a top? It seems strange to me as it’s just another sexual position I like but it’s a thing for some.
There does seem to be a wider idea that the “fucker” makes you the top and being fucked means you are the bottom. For me this too narrow and limiting.

If a Dominant is the little spoon or gets wrapped up in a cuddle, does that mean they are not in charge? I fucking hope not!

So I guess at some point we have to challenge two big ideas:

1. That dicks are dominant and holes are submissive
2. That there are certain acts that are ALWAYS Dominant or always submissive.

I like to think instead of these frames: Who is in charge? Who is taking control? Who makes the decisions and who is obeying. To me, the story of why certain acts are happening is a more useful barometer than the acts themselves. Abstract out the genitals and physical placement of bodies into the meaning of the scene. If the male is tied up, blindfolded, and forced to get hard and fucked in the way a Domme chooses until they say stop and restricting the orgasms of the male, I think we can all agree who is in charge.

So to me, Dominance should not be limited to a sexual physical act as it’s more about being the leader, guide, controller, trainer and all-around boss. I would prefer to be judged on how well I eat pussy and be the best at it as having sexual skills is a Dominant value of mine. I like to make the act more about D/s by having the sub prepare their pussy for me or getting a licking as a reward after all their chores are done.

Submission should also not be put in such a small box as it encompasses many more qualities and values like obedience, service, helpfulness, and devotion.

In the end, we must all find the acts that give us pleasure and meaning and try to strip away any shame, judgment and the opinions of others so we can find the behaviors and sexual bliss that bring us bliss. If you both consent to an act and enjoy doing it, then dump the labels and get down to the fun!

What do you think? Should a Real Dom head downtown?