Pillion puts BDSM on screen. Our dynamic is ours.
The film Pillion has got people talking about a dom–sub relationship. It follows Colin, who’s new to the scene, and Ray, an experienced biker who becomes his dominant partner. In an Associated Press interview, the actors and filmmaker talk about the mix of BDSM, romance and comedy—and the response from people in the BDSM community.
I’m the Dom in my relationship. My boyfriend is autistic and my sub. We have scenes together, but our dynamic belongs to us. It doesn’t have to look like a film, or anyone else’s idea of what a Dom and sub should be.
Clear direction works for us
My boyfriend likes being told what I want him to do. Taking the initiative himself can make him feel pressured. That’s something we’ve talked about, and it helps me understand what he enjoys in our dynamic.
It doesn’t mean every autistic sub wants the same thing. It doesn’t even mean every sub wants the same thing. Some people love being given clear instructions; others want more room to lead, switch, or make their own choices in the moment. You find out by talking to the person you’re with.
For us, being clear is part of the connection. I don’t expect him to guess what I want, and he doesn’t have to pretend he enjoys taking the lead if it feels like pressure. We can talk about what works for us and shape our scenes around that.
Your kink is yours
A film can make BDSM look dramatic, romantic, funny, or all three. It can give people an idea to talk about, but it can’t tell you what your relationship should be.
My kink is not yours. We don’t judge other people for what they enjoy, or for what they don’t. Some people want a strict power exchange. Some want a bit of role-play now and then. Some aren’t interested at all. That’s all fine.
What matters in our relationship is that we both understand what we’re doing and want to be there. We talk about what we like, what feels pressured, and what we want from each other. That’s our dynamic. Another couple gets to work out theirs.
If Pillion gets people curious about BDSM, brilliant. Just remember that watching someone else’s relationship on screen is a starting point for a conversation—not a rulebook for your own.
