Enhancing Intimacy with Tantra: Techniques for Deeper Connection

The desire for deeper connection and profound intimacy in our relationships is universal. In this post, we are going to look at Tantra, an ancient practice originating from the East, which offers powerful techniques to cultivate spiritual and sexual connections. I am going to talk you through the principles of Tantra and provide practical techniques for enhancing intimacy, cultivating presence, and experiencing transcendent pleasure in your relationship.

The Power of Tantra:

Tantra is more than just a sexual practice; it is a holistic approach to life and love, an intimate relationship that’s grounded in and guided by Truth. This means our partnership (as a couple) can be as awake as we possibly can be allowing it to be real, being able to confront our fears, and growing in Love. And it’s this practice of realness, truth, devotion, and love that can create a deeper connection with your partner.

Below are some simple Tantric practices that will awaken you to yourself, to your partner, to love, and to the spirit that we all share. Give a few of these practices a try in your relationship, and watch your connection flourish.

Share 3 things you like about the time you’ve spent together.

We have all been in that relationship and might be in one now where you find it difficult to think of why, so let’s create a practice of telling each other three to five things we like about the time we’ve spent together in the morning, on your date night, after an evening in, do it an hour or so before we’d say goodbye. This technique can develop into one of the sweetest, most loving, most connecting experiences, I promise if you keep practising It never gets old.

The process is simple & it goes like this, while you’re lying in bed, eating lunch, or in a relaxed moment with your partner, or another moment you are fully present, each of you says three to five things you enjoyed about the time you just spent together. The key here is you can say anything! It can be silly, sweet, deep, or profound and the more you do this it’ll be all these things.

When you honour your partner and the time you share, you are creating a perfect sacred space for your relationship. Doing this regularly can only deepen your love.

Set up and have a two-minute check-in.

While you are in the mindset and around your partner doing your Three/Five Things We Like task, Let’s also have two-minute check-in (This can get longer as you develop). The purpose of this task is to tune into yourself, remind yourself what’s important to you at this moment, and share that with your loved one. This check-in is not necessarily about the relationship. It’s about you! It’s about reconnecting with who you are in this moment and expressing your truth to your partner. Again, it’s simple but profound. By having a little bit of time to tune into your own process, and then sharing it, you create a deeper connection with yourself and a more intimate connection with the person you love.

Here are some questions that can guide you:

Practice conscious sensuality (Yes we are getting to the sexy stuff).

Yes, I am very conscious sensuality is what most people think of when they hear the word “Tantra.” Without a doubt, it’s an amazing part of being in a Tantric relationship, but we are talking here about conscious sensuality, being fully aware of your touch, contact, erotic energy, and lovemaking. As simple as it sounds, many of us aren’t that aware of our sexual contact, but that’s OK because it’s a practice.

Here’s a simple way to bring more awareness to your physical intimacy:

Using a timer (not your phone keep them out get an egg timer), cycle through 10 five-minute intervals of connecting with your partner, focusing on being fully present in each exercise.

• In the first five minutes sit in front of your partner, and look him or her in the eyes while moving your body slightly as you breathe. Just focus on this one task, eye-gazing and breathing that it for the full five minutes. When the timer goes off, bow to your partner to acknowledge the end of that session, then move on to the next.
• In the next five-minute session, one partner can sensually touch and massage the other’s arms, legs, neck, and body. The partner who’s giving touch can practice being fully present in that giving; the partner who’s receiving can practice being fully present in receiving.
• In the next five minutes, switch roles.
• In the next five minutes, practice kissing with full awareness. Just be in the moment, not needing to do anything but kiss. See what that’s like.
• And keep going from there! Get creative! As you can imagine, there are lots of possibilities.

What’s beautiful about being consciously sensual is that, unlike spontaneous lovemaking, there’s a container for each experience, so you’re less likely to move too quickly to the “next thing.” In other words, you’re staying with one sensual practice for a set amount of time, which allows you to fully show up for that experience.

Basically, it’s meditation and sex combined! And who doesn’t like that?

As you can see, all these Tantric practices hold a common theme: bringing your awareness into the present moment, into your body, into the energy that exists here and now and being with it. That’s what Tantra is, and that’s what an alive relationship is, too.