Spice up Your Sex Life With Yourself
In a rut? Here are a few ways you can spice up the sex you’re having with yourself!
Just like in a long-term relationship, you know how easy it can be to get stuck in rut in your sex life. Well, the same thing happens in the lifelong sexual relationship we have with ourselves!
We often condition ourselves to orgasm from one type of self-stimulation, and we stick to it religiously. Yeah, that can certainly be a reliable way to get the job done, but adding new techniques to your bag can take you beyond the daily grind and bring your solo sex to new heights!
Explore Your Body Map
Masturbation, much like sex, is mostly genitally focused, but guess what? Your entire body is covered with yummy erogenous zones. Self-love time is the perfect time to explore your body’s often overlooked sensitive spots.
Get in a comfy position and let your hands or a toy move slowly from the top of your head down to your toes, taking note of the spots that excite you most.
If you aren’t sure where to start exploring, think of places where people generally get body piercings, like the ears, eyebrows, nostrils and lips. They tend to also be erogenous zones! In a van in a field, I licked a cute girls ears for her first time, ears really are overlooked.
Some other particularly nerve-rich places on the body include the neck, nipples, navel, thighs and behind the knees. Don’t just stop at the more obvious spots! Touch places you never thought of as being sexy, such as your scalp, armpits and the skin along the spine.
Build Your Toy Chest
Yeah, a sex toy shop would say buy more toys !! but you are here looking for a different way to get yourself off so go with it. Trying out a sex toy for the first time, or trying a new type of sex toy, can bring new types of sensations to your solo play. If you’re new to toys, find something that’s versatile so you can use it in multiple ways while you’re figuring out what you like.
Think outside the box and use the toy in ways that it hasn’t been marketed for. A vibrator will often be marketed as a clitoral vibe or a G-spot vibe, but try using it all over your body. Don’t forget the lube! It’s generally a good idea to have some water-based lube that can be used with all types of toys.
Make It Into a Full Body Experience
It doesn’t have to only be about touch. Tantalize all of your senses to smell, taste, see and hear your way to ecstatic pleasure. Set a long playlist of music to set the mood you desire. Use candles, flowers, or fragrance sticks to set the mood with a pleasant scent. Bring some of your favourite treats to bed with you.
We recommend chocolate, strawberries, your favourite cheese, champagne, or wine. Some of these are considered aphrodisiacs and others are known to increase dopamine levels in your brain, which leads to increased desire and arousal.
Make your play visually appealing. Use a scarf over your lamp for a seductive touch of colour. Wear something that makes you feel sexy. Keep it on or become a voyeur, watching yourself as you slowly take it off.
Bring In Back-up
While masturbation is usually thought of as sex for one, it can be even more exciting to masturbate with your partner! I love mutual masturbation its extremely hot.
Telling your partner what you enjoy sexually is both helpful for your partner to hear and an important part of getting your needs met. Having them actually see you do the things that feel best will help them to steal your moves and blow your mind the next time you have sex.
This is also an opportunity to physically guide your partner’s hands, so they can feel the way you touch yourself when you masturbate. Switch it up and learn what your partner enjoys. Stay present and focus on how their breathing changes, the sounds they make, and the way their body reacts to different types of touch.
Now that you have a starting point, take some time to explore what works best for you! Remember, masturbation, like any type of sex, is more enjoyable when you lose the goal of orgasm and focus on creating a pleasurable experience from start to finish.
Go in without expectations and stay present with your body, focus on how it reacts to various types of stimuli, and what feels good.
