- Cooking
- Cleaning
- Chauffeuring
- Fetching coffee or drinks
- Giving back rubs or massages
While this might sound like just doing housework, acts of service feel quite different as part of a D/s dynamic.
“I was never much of a Good Housekeeping sort of person, but making the bed became a meditation both on my love for him and his love for me”
Orders of Self-Improvement
Orders don’t always need to be for a Dom’s selfish benefit. Instead I give orders that promote my submissive’s own self-improvement. I order her to go for a run knowing she is wont do it on her own. I bought her a sticker chart to log her achievements. Other orders could be aimed towards a much larger goal as well. Everyone including submissives all have wanted to make life changes but felt like they couldn’t because of impostor syndrome. The Dominant’s order can give them the confidence to do it, like being given emotional permission to try.
Why would a Dominant give this kind of order? One Dom I know put it this way, “Yes, I’m in control, and I could take that control and use it to run my sub into the ground, but I’d rather build them up so they can be the best person they can be.”
Become There PT “Take a Sadist to the Gym with You”
Yes this is a bit like the above assisting submissives in losing weight through diet and exercise Domming. In addition to being another way for the Dominant to exercise control the D/s dynamic can provide an extra source of accountability.
“If you want results, take a sadist to the gym with you,”
Not my kind of kink but Financial Domination
Financial domination, is a fetish in which most commonly a man gets gratification from transferring large sums to another person.
Taken in its purest form this is a fairly rare and expensive fetish. Many lifestyle submissives practice a lighter form of surrendering control of their finances to someone else. Allowing someone else to manage your finances is an act that takes a lot of trust because it opens a submissive up to potential financial abuse by an unscrupulous Dominant. Additionally, should their Dominant partner turn abusive, lacking access to financial resources can make it that much more difficult to leave them.
Surrendering financial control can actually be very beneficial long term for the submissive if they struggle with those skills, especially if the Dominant teaches the submissive those skills so that they can eventually manage money on their own.
Restriction of Speech
Everyones voice is a huge part of our identity, some Doms employ speech restriction orders where a submissive isn’t to speak until spoken to. This speech restriction can be part of a kinky scene, of course, but can also extend outside of bedroom time to a couple’s everyday existence. Could be for not answering back or just to allow them to have that time to think about responses.
Orders to Break Bad Habits
We all know a person who has tried everything to stop biting nails, sheer willpower, setting aside money for each day they didn’t that she could then spend on something fun. I have know people even paint them with bitter-tasting varnish. Nothing worked.
This is where a D/s relationship where you are someone who likes the feeling of having your back scratched. Orders to stop biting nails and grow out claws to rake there back. And boom stopping biting nails.
Other great ones for submissives are kicking cigarettes when their non-smoking Dominants order them not to smoke.
So Yeah BDSM Is More Than Just Sex
While most people think of sex when they think of BDSM, Dominance and submission, stripped to their most basic level, are primarily about the voluntary exchange of power and control. This can take many forms.
