Don’t pressure me to come.
This may not apply to most of you, but it’s about my personal tastes and experiences. If you’re like me, maybe you can relate. If you ever fuck someone like me, maybe you should take note.
It took me over a year after giving my virginity to my first lover to have an orgasm. I don’t mean just with them. I mean ever. I never had one on my own either. First one.
It was awesome. “I guess when it rains is pours.” I had multiples. Like one on top of the other on top of the other.
I didn’t orgasm every time I had sex after that. Only sometimes, which I was fine with. I get off on giving pleasure too. I enjoy the whole experience from beginning through the end and then some. I certainly enjoyed sex without ever having an orgasm before. So for awhile when it happened, it was something special and I kinda liked that about it.
By the time I was in my next relationship I had broken the mind body barrier a little better and was getting a better handle on having them. My partner was more of a giver and wanted me to have them all the time. AS MANY AS POSSIBLE. Which is nice and all. I get the sentiment, but I didn’t want to have them all the time. I missed it being special. Sometimes I was pressured to have so many it hurt and wasn’t fun anymore. Most of the time, pressuring me to come made it impossible. I’m not proud of it, but yes, I faked some. It’s hard to tell your partner over and over “No, its okay, I’m good without one” when they take it as a challenge. You know they’ll be sad or disappointed if you don’t come. It can be way too much pressure.
There have been times I even wanted to come, but I was too stressed about something or it was too intense somehow or a thousand other reasons so I just couldn’t. And that was fine with me. I still enjoyed the sex and was overall happy about it. Even if I’d like an orgasm, when I tell you I’m not going to for whatever reason, please don’t insist I do anyway. It’s not about your ego. It’s not about a challenge. It’s not even about you being a caring partner and just wanting me to feel good, which is appreciated when no extra pressure is added.
Usually these days I come lots. Its two parts mental-one part physical. I can come from fucking a lady with my strap on with no genital stimulation whatsoever. However, if we have sex and I don’t climax, and I say “Don’t worry about it, I’m good.” You can totally ask “Are you sure? Is there something else I could do or something I could do differently that would be better?” Great response. But please, stop insisting that I come. It makes me feel worse and can taint the end of that experience for me. I’m happy throughout the process so the “happy ending” isn’t necessary.
If you know better than to pressure me to fuck you, suck your dick, let you fist me, or do any other sex act with you… than don’t pressure me to come.
