A littles First Steps for Daddy Dom & little girl Beginners
So this is going to be one of those controversial posts so please note that the Daddy Dom & little girl dynamic has nothing to do with pedophilia. We do not condone the acts of pedophilia and the exploitation of children in any way. Just as adults like to take on other roles in the bedroom such as nurse, pet, porn star, etc. it is all roleplay; that is the same for age-play. No matter how taboo the roleplay or fantasy, it’s harmless as long as no one is being abused. No one is sexualizing children and the dynamic is not pedophilia.
DDlg stands for Daddy Dom/little girl.
DDlg or DD/lg is a dynamic in which one half of the relationship is the caregiver/dominant and the other is the childlike/submissive. It is considered a sub-branch of BDSM, agreed upon by consenting adults. Starting out with a new DD/lg lifestyle can be a little frightening and very exciting. It can also be easy to shy away from the hard parts, and jump head-first into the “fun” parts. Often, feelings and boundaries are overlooked by the sparkle (and “newness”) of a DD/lg relationship. There are also ‘Littles’ whose ages can range from 3 – 10, and Middles refer to the preteen and teenager years. A Little’s or Middle’s age doesn’t have to be permanently set in stone and is entirely dependent on the individual participating. Not all Ddlg relationships participate in ageplay.
Time has a way of catching up with us; and when it does, all of those feelings and broken boundaries will come into question (either by you, or your partner). It is really important to take a step back and get a really good look at what you are committing to. Once you are fully aware of what it is that you are wanting, you will then want to step slowly into the changes; taking time to question and evaluate how you feel about what is happening.
What is a little?
The term little refers to a submissive that is more of a child-at-heart and plays on their child-like nature. In some communities you’ll see that the term’s original definition is used a little bit differently and losely, since you can find littles who are more interested in little space but without D/s. For the sake of talking about the dynamic and lifestyle, I’ll be using the term with D/s in mind. In general littles may require more care, attention, protection, and guidance than other submissives. Their Dominant partner acts as more of a parental or caregiver figure than other types of Dominants and are typically called names along the lines of Mommy and Daddy, but you’ll find dynamics where the Big partner is another “family” member (sister and brother or even Uncle or Aunt, for example). They feed off each other; the Big giving the support, care, and guidance, while receiving devotion, love, obedience, and playfulness that they may desire.
Discover who you are in this new role, and enjoy the journey.
No one is going to be a perfect little or perfect Daddy Dom on the first day; or the hundredth; or the one-thousandth. Even the most experienced Dom will tell you that He is still learning and discovering new ways to be better. No one is perfect, and the only way to be a good little or Dominant is to learn, and be willing to grow every day.
What DD/lg is not…
- For minors or anyone under 18.
- Gender, sexuality, age (18+), or race specific.
- Just calling your boyfriend or husband “daddy” in bed This would be considered topping and bottoming. There is nothing wrong with that but since it’s bedroom play rather than a lifestyle, it differs from a D/s dynamic.
- The same as sugar daddies and sugar babies.
- A reason for a submissive to act like a brat and manipulate their Dom/Domme.
- A way to get spoiled and give nothing in return.
So how can Daddy Doms and little girls work on themselves.
Here are our first steps we would recommend to any new beginners in the DD/lg lifestyle:
- Read books, blogs, and forums. Learn as much information as you can about this lifestyle.
- Talk with people who are in the lifestyle, and ask a lot of questions.
- Start a journal of your journey personally, or together as a couple.
- Establish rules and boundaries. It is important to remember that these boundaries can change and evolve over time, and with experience, in all of these new areas.
- Set up weekly meetings with your partner to discuss how things are going, and whether or not changes need to be made.
- Decide how much “Power” the Daddy Dom holds over the little. Such as: certain areas, most areas, or total power exchange.
- Decide if this new lifestyle is going to be 24/7, only in the bedroom, or specific times and dates.
- Date each other! Yeah even if you have been married or together for years, it is important to remember that you are both discovering who you are.
- Plan fun, little-friendly activities, whatever else helps to bring your little side out.
- Be 100% open and honest, 100% of the time. Without trust at its foundation, the relationship cannot operate the way it was intended to.
- Explore sexual kinks together. Whether it’s role-play, bondage, or any number of things; showing this side of yourself to each other builds intimacy and trust.
- Decide how open you want to be about your new lifestyle. Is this going to be private between the two of you? Private between the two of you, and a blog? Only close friends and/or family? Out and proud? There is no wrong answer.
- Make a daily goal chart for your little. You can make make this as cute, fun, serious or to-the-point as you like. Having this chart will give your little a step-by-step list of ways to please her Daddy.
- Start a hobby together. Doing this will give you both things to talk about, and will provide something to do together to bond you closer.
- Be patient with each other. Remember, this is new for both of you. You will both undoubtedly make mistakes. Having patience and cheering for the other will motivate both of you to work harder.
- Talk about and establish punishments. Once they are decided and agreed upon, always remember to follow through. Establishing and following through with punishments will help the power dynamic stay strong for both parties.
- Learn the power of Love and Respect. The basic idea is that every little girl needs to be loved, and every Daddy Dom needs to be respected. If the little is being disrespectful, then the Daddy becomes unloving and hurt. If the Daddy is being unloving, then the little becomes disrespectful and hurt. So you can either be on the unloving/disrespectful circle…or on the love/respect circle. The latter works extremely well for us.
- Make goals for your newfound DD/lg relationship. Set a one week goal, a month goal, a year goal, and a five year goal. Talking about and planning for a future will help show your commitment to the other.
- Play with each other, build those blanket forts, go to the park, share a milkshake or sundae at a diner, have tickle fights, etc. Laughing is so important, and vital in bonding and opening up with each other.
- Have a LOT of sex! Having a healthy sexual relationship will keep your butterflies fluttering in your tummy like they belong. Being wanted by another is a huge confidence boost for anyone. Your partner needs to feel wanted by you!
- Take your time and enjoy this new phase of your life!
Other explanations of DD/lg:
What is a Daddy Dom? – Alittleunderstanding.com
What is a little? – Alittleunderstanding.com
What is DD/lg? – Written by romantic-ds
What is a Daddy Dom? – Library for Kinksters
The Wonderful World of Littles – Submissvefeminist
Littlespace Online – A DD/lg, CG/l, ageplay, and ABDL community.
DDlgworld.com – A DD/lg (CG/l or Big/little) friendly forum for Bigs and littles of all kinds to make friends, discuss topics, and talk about their relationships.
Reddit:
/r/littlespacepenpals
/r/littlespace
/r/littlepersonals
/r/bdsmpersonals
All of the above are strictly 18+
.
