Penis Enlargement Products that Definitely Work

Here’s a pro-tip: Don’t buy penis enlargement products online. You’re almost certainly gonna get scammed. Either the product is going to be bullshit and not really work properly or you won’t receive what you ordered at all. But luckily for you, there’s a bunch of other methods of penis enlargement that are available without springing for stupid expensive natural supplements.

1. Magnifying glass

If all else fails, get all ‘private eye’ on that dick and detect yourself a bigger penis, Sherlock Holmes style.
Note: holding a magnifying glass up to your penis makes getting an erection very uncomfortable.

2. Shave

We know that the ‘natural’ look is in right now, but that doesn’t mean you should leave that stump in the middle of a forest. Clear-cutting is wrong, but if you need to comb and gel your pubes every morning, you’ve got problems.

3. Find a significantly smaller man

Everything is relative. Use the age-old trope: you’ll look much hotter if you only hang out with unattractive people. Same rules apply to dick size.

4. Zoom in on your camera phone

Cameras include a zoom function for a reason: so before you upload that tiny dick pick to Snapchat, think about your online brand. Do you want your future employer to snoop around and see that, not only do you post sex pictures online, but you also have a tiny dick? Embarrassing. You’re fired.

5. Hit the gym, son.

You might love driving beers and cheeseburgers into that giant fat gut, but your dick is suffocating under your giant mass. Give that thing some air, dude.

Hope this helps, y’all small penis having motherfuckers!