The Shy Girl’s Guide to Public Bottoming

I am also stubborn, opinionated and insecure. I hate small talk, I laugh too loudly, I worry about other people’s feelings, and, sometimes, I think that I know what people are thinking, about me.

(Of course I don’t actually know what they are thinking about me.)

Every once in a while, someone I trust needs a bottom for a demo or class.

~Shy Girl Tip #1~ It’s okay to pick and choose your tops very carefully.

It doesn’t make you less of a bottom, or less submissive. You’re about to jump off a cliff. In front of an audience. You have to know that someone is watching and waiting to catch you. I can’t know that, unless I know my top. This makes for fewer play opportunities for me, but I’ll take comfort and trust over quantity, any day.

I’m reserved. I have body issues. I vascillate between Don’t look at me, I’m Quasimodo, and Fuck it, I’m an imperfect earth mother goddess.

~Shy Girl Tip #2~ Your body is your body. Give yourself a break.

Fuck, this is a hard one for me. I tell myself that I don’t judge the stretch marks or jiggly bits on my friends (or strangers, for that matter), but somehow I don’t give myself the same care and acceptance. Be kind and gentle to yourself. I’m still working on this one.

I have a lot of self doubt. I like to be in control. In control of myself, in control of my environment, in control of who I let in. Bottoming to me is an intimate exchange. I’m not a service bottom. I’m not using my top. I’m reveling in the unique only-to-us, and intimate mutual exchange of ideas and movements and energy in thisspace, and at this time. If I’m not reveling, then it’s no good for anyone.

~Shy Girl Tip #3~ Be the best bottom YOU know how to be.

Be authentic, be honest. React, interact, and let your energy be part of the scene. That’s what makes a good bottom. It isn’t about how much you can take. It’s about what you can give.

I am not an expert at anything, except being me. I am always learning and growing. Shy girls need to stick together, and boost each other up. This is a short list, and additions are welcome! What Shy Girl Tips do you have?