Female Domination: Top Ten things to Do
So your man has admitted to you that he wants to be dominated in the bedroom? Or, perhaps you have a domination fantasy that you wish to explore? Well, you are not alone! Most people have at least occasionally fantasied about BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism). And, since 50 Shades of Grey was published, interest in the subject has exploded. Just in the past few months, (since the 50 shades movie trailer first appeared on the internet) articles and blogs about BDSM have proliferated on the internet.
In this context, I have written a post specifically for the ladies out there that want to experiment with female domination and male submission. (male domination is an equally popular topic, but that will need to be discussed separately). Presented here is a list of ten general ideas for things you may want to try. Each item on the list is fairly broad, but I attempted to add as much specific information as possible. Also, there is a ton of overlap between these different ideas. None of these ideas should be considered mutually exclusive.
Before jumping into this, please be sure to play safe. If you are going to experiment with either bondage or physical punishment, you need to have safe word. This is just a simple, random word that is unlikely to appear in any other context. The safe word means that everything stops immediately. You have gone beyond partner’s comfort zone, and you must respect his boundaries. Chances are he will never use the safe word. Still though, you need to have one, just in case.
Ok, enough foreplay! Heres the Top Ten things to Do for Female Domination.
If you want to dominate your man in the bedroom, sexual control is the most basic requirement. This fantasy is about giving you all the sexual power, so your pleasure must come first. Think about it, from the woman’s perspective, most sexual encounters tend to shorter and less satisfying than she would like. Not this time. For this encounter, he is only allowed to orgasm when (and if) you permit it. If he cannot agree to this basic rule, then all bets are off. If, on the other hand, he agrees, well then for all practical purposes you are already in charge of the bedroom. As usual, he will want to rush to the main attraction, but now you can extend the foreplay for as long as you want. And, the hornier he gets, the more desperately willing he will be to do anything and everything you say. The truth is, a certain amount of sexual frustration on his part is what gives you power. Sexual control really is the basis for all domination/submission foreplay.
Ok, so you have established sexual control. Now what? Well, the next step is to make him your own personal love slave. Order him to serve you wine, give you a massage, strip naked, kneel at your feet… literally anything you want. For this night he is yours…so have fun with it. Just be sure to speak with authority. Tell him what to do, and expect him to obey immediately, without question. Remember, if you want him to treat you like a Queen, you have to act like a Queen. So approach this role play with confidence. Also, you may even want to give him strict rules to reinforce your dominance. A few common ideas: make him only address you a formal title (Queen, Mistress, etc.), prohibit from asking any questions, restrict him from touching your body or himself during foreplay (you are the only one that gets to touch), etc. Obviously, he must be punished if he ever breaks any of your rules (more on that later). Finally, never forget that, though he must wait patiently for when (and if) he get to climax, you face no such restriction. So, use him as a sex slave. This may mean you order him to give you oral sex. Or if you prefer, bring a vibrator into the bedroom. Whatever it takes to get yours. After all, the ultimate goal of any “slave” is the pleasure and satisfaction of his mistress.
The most direct way to take control of the bedroom is to introduce bondage. This can be as basic as blindfolding him during foreplay and/or sex. Or, it may involve binding his hands or otherwise restraining him. Either way, there is something incredibly erotic about the loss of control. Bondage puts him in a very vulnerable position, which for most men (whether they admit it or not) is a huge turn on.
Binding his hands (or handcuffing him) is good for simple play. But, it is really worth experimenting with slightly more advance bondage. Probably the most popular bondage position is spread eagle- where both his and ankles are tied down to the bed. From this position he can squirm, but he won’t be able to escape. You meanwhile, have total control. You can play with body for as long as you desire. This may include giving him pleasure and stimulation of various kinds, or making him give you pleasure. For example, one rather evil, but fun, thing it try from this position is called face sitting: straddle his face while he’s tied up, and order him to give you oral pleasure. Or, pleasure yourself while he is restrained. Watching (or listening) to you pleasure yourself while not being able to participate (or touch himself) is an intense, but erotic torment for any man. Finally, if you really want be dangerous, use temperature to enhance his stimulation. Ice can really enhance both pleasure and pain…as can heat. You can, for example, drag ice across his chest or carefully drip hot wax on his body while he his restrained. (Please be careful though, hot wax can be dangerous…use caution!) Overall, bondage in its various forms is easiest way to turn your hunky man into your own personal little sex toy. Just be sure to play safe! Always use a safeword, and invest in a few toys designed for this type of play.
Once you have him tied up, what’s next? Well, the best thing to do now is tease him mercilessly. There is nothing sexier than watching your man squirm helplessly while you have your way with him. Touch his body slowly, rub him, kiss various parts of his body, tickle him, speak to him seductively…whatever it takes to drive him wild with lust. The main idea here is to bring him close to climax, and then deny him. In addition to be fun, erotic teasing reinforces the exchange of sexual power. He only gets to release if and when you want him to. Until then, his body is your plaything. Obviously, all of this is highly related to number 3. There is a ton of overlap between teasing and bondage. But, you can certainly tease him without bondage. Just act as seductively as possible, and it will drive him crazy. In the context of idea 1 (sexual control) even mild teasing can have a dramatic effect on him. So have fun with it…casually introduce some new lingerie, tell him how wet you are, neglect to wear underwear…whatever. You can even tease him before the foreplay officially starts. Leave him a sexy voicemail or text message; he will be thinking about you all day.
Admit it, you want him to be your whipping boy. He (secretly) wants it too. So, make it happen! Corporal punishment can refer to anything from light erotic spanking to flogging with a whip or crop. And it can be anything from extremely mild and playful to painful and intense. Early on most women want to approach with caution, starting out with gentle play and gradually becoming more aggressive over time. Obviously, if you are going to experiment with any form of punishment make sure you and your man on the same page. Talk about things beforehand, and keep communication open before and after all sessions, and use a safe word.
Spanking and/or whipping can certainly be both fun and arousing. But, there are plenty of other, more interesting ways to discipline a naughty boy. Even without exploring hardcore S&M, there are literally hundreds of clever ways to punish him. A few examples: pinch him aggressively, put him in time out, make do a difficult or repetitive task, prohibit him from speaking, physically gag him, use clothespins on his body, make him wear a collar and leash, make him lick your boots and/or feet, temporarily deny him food or other rewards, etc. Also, as discussed earlier, cold (ice) and heat (wax) can be used to enhance physical pain or as punishments in their own right. And, of course, bondage itself can be a form of punishment (his hands will be tied if he gets too touchy, etc.). The possibilities really are endless, just use your imagination. If all else fails, order him to come up with his own punishments. You may be surprised what kind of things he comes up with. Also, keep in mind, some punishment ideas work well for disciplining him and/or teaching him a lesson, while others may be better if you simply want to torture him a bit for your own amusement. Remember, no matter how sweet and loving you are under normal circumstances, in this context you need to embrace your evil side. This is the one time in life when it’s perfectly ok to be a little cruel and devious. Domination play is strange that way. You torture him, and he loves you for it.
Ladies if you really want to dominate the bedroom, you can’t just play with his body…you have to mess with his head! A few ideas:
-Fickle Mistress: Tell him you feel sorry for him- you are going to stop playing with him and give him exactly what he desires, right now. Then start rubbing and kissing him. But then, just before the climax, abruptly change your mind. Or, alternatively, play the opposite game. Tell him you have decided he will not be allowed to orgasm tonight and the decision is final (even if it isn’t). In his desperation, he will suddenly become even more obedient and submissive.
–Playful Threats: Just as your session begins, tell him you are going all out tonight. Tell him to prepare his mind, because you are going to enjoy really making him suffer. He will be both intimidated and incredibly aroused by these threats. Or, tell him that you have something special planned (a really evil new punishment perhaps). Even if you don’t have anything particularly special, the anticipation will drive him crazy. Later, if you didn’t unveil a new punishment, just tell him that he was such a good boy you didn’t need it. He will just have to wait till next time.
-Begging: Make him beg for release, and then tease him about it. Laugh, giggle, and tell him how amusing you find his predicament. This, will of course, make him want to beg even more…creating (for him) a vicious cycle.
Accuse him of a “crime” or bad behavior. If he denies, tease/torture him until he confesses. The “crime” can just be something silly or sexy (did you masturbate last week? Etc.) Of course, once he admits to whatever it is, you will have punish him for it. The funny thing is, you can play this game whether he is “guilty” of the “crime” or not.
The bottom line is, playing with his mind can be just as powerful as playing with his body.
8.Roleplaying and Fantasy Scenarios
In the bedroom, many people enjoy sexual roleplaying. And why not…what woman does not like getting into costume now and again? Perhaps you’ve played the role of frisky maid or naughty schoolgirl? Well there are plenty of ways to use role playing scenarios in the context of bondage and submission/domination. For some people, role playing a formal scenario can help set the scene and keep things interesting. A few common ideas:
- Wealthy Roman lady purchases a captured warrior to be used as her own personal pleasure slave.
- Sexy teacher must discipline a male student who simply will not behave himself.
- Wicked young princess (or Queen) decides to have some fun with the royal whipping boy.
- Seductive sorceress puts a magical spell on a handsome knight.
- Female detective uses unorthodox methods when interrogating a male suspect.
- Naive delivery boy falls into the clutches of a seductive (and sadistic) dominatrix.
- These are just a few ideas. But, again, the possibilities are endless. Develop as scene that suits your own tastes, and have at it.
If you plan to play the dominate role frequently (or at least experiment with it occasionally), it may be useful to “train him” in what you like. This may sound crazy, but the truth he won’t become your perfect little sex slave without some training. This could simply mean you establish a basic routine (every scene starts with him stripping, kneeling down, and putting his hands behind his back). Or, you may make him memorize specific commands. Perhaps snapping your fingers means that he is to assume the position for a spanking. Training can also mean you teach him how to give you satisfying massages or foot rubs. The point is, you can train him to do whatever you want. Now, when training him, both positive and negative reinforcement can be quite useful. If he has performed well, tell him (good boy) and perhaps give him some kind of reward. Obviously, if he ever performs poorly, he should be punished. At the very least, you should use the domination fantasy experience to train him in how to give you good oral sex. It may take him a bit, but he will improve. You may soon find yourself having many more orgasms, on a more regular basis, than you ever thought possible.
Last but not least, body worship should become a staple of your bedroom activities. Religious folks out there…please do not be offended! This not blasphemy we’re talking about here. Rather, it’s just a common term used in domination play. And, why not? You are sexual goddess, he needs to treat you like one. The thing is, and let’s be honest, there are plenty of times when he is much hornier than you are. He wants it so bad, while you could basically take it or leave it. Well, put all that sexual energy to good use! Have him lavish your body with tender affection and sensual indulgence…kisses, caresses, massage, whatever it is that you like. The advantage of body worship is that is does not have to be explicitly sexual. It could as simple as kissing your hand or rubbing your feet. Just tell him what you want, and watch him go all out. (you may decide to give him some strictly enforced restrictions as well…no groping or touching of the breasts, etc.) Of course you, as the sexy lady, do not have to do anything to reciprocate his affections. You can literally be reading a book or watching tv while he worships your body. Amusingly, if you do ignore him, this will tend to make him more aroused, not less. Try as he might, all this physical affection will do nothing to relieve the sexual pressure building up inside him. Thus, as he obsesses on your body, he gradually become even more aroused (and enslaved). You’re doing nothing, while he is become ever more wrapped around your finger. Oh, what fun!