The male obsession with Porn

Porn Porn Porn

Channel 53. That was where I found the porn when I was a kid. It was broadcast to my family’s TV as a blur of fuzz and smeared color, but if you watched long enough—and trust me, I tested it—you’d eventually see a flash of flesh. If you were lucky, you saw a boob, or something even more explicit. (Ed. nowadays you can head over to our sister site wetflix for porn)

Hey, I was a boy, and I had a profound curiosity for what went on beneath blouses and skirts with limited ways to discover it. But that brings us to the question at hand: Why would I—or any guy, for that matter—remain interested in porn past his teens? Isn’t real sex better? Isn’t watching porn a little like reading Twilight fan fiction when you could be reading the actual book? Yeah, sure, the real thing is better. But the porn industry is thriving, so clearly people still value fantasy. Here’s a little glimpse at why so many men are fascinated with porn:

It’s safer than sex with strangers.

This one only applies to single guys (hopefully), but it still holds true. Casual hookups can be complicated—for men and women—between the fear of STDs, hurt feelings, and awkward morning-after conversation. So if you’re looking for sexual novelty, porn is a pretty safe alternative. Masturbating to porn is simple: You just look up your fantasy and do what comes natural. There’s no performance anxiety, no fear of rejection, and no worries about who’s going to call whom the next day.

We’re aroused by visual stimulation.

There are some things men have a hard time understanding about women—like how you’re always 10 degrees colder than we are. And similarly, this may be a thing that you find perplexing about men: We like to watch. I mean, we really like to watch. And not just porn—we like to watch during sex, too. That’s half the reason we like changing positions: to take in the different views. And sometimes, in the moment, we wonder what our real-world sexcapade looks like from a third-person angle. With porn, our imagination can take a break. The cameraman does the work. (Fun fact: Women are aroused by visual stimulation, too.)

It allows us to live vicariously.

Sex on a beach in the middle of the winter? Sure! Sex on the boss’ desk, with no risk of being fired? Amen to that! Sex in a futuristic space shuttle, with four super-hot alien chicks? Um… it’s getting a little odd, but let’s give it shot! Regardless of the scenario, most of the guys in porn seem to know exactly what they’re doing. We might not want to be like them in daily life, but still, we’re pretty impressed. And occasionally, we like to zone out and pretend that’s us getting it on in the middle of a restaurant.

It lets us be selfish.

We want to make you happy. The fact is, we love when you orgasm almost as much as we love it when we do. And obviously, that means we have to be totally engaged in the act—reading your body language, making sure not to peak too early, holding in any non-sexy bodily functions. Porn is a guilty pleasure that’s as brainless as watching a sitcom (but, you know, with nudity). It’s no surprise that both genders sometimes enjoy masturbation even more than sex, and porn just adds a little novelty and entertainment to the picture (even when it’s wildly unrealistic). Obviously, we’d never want to be selfish in bed with you, so this gives us a free pass to just take and take without hurting our sexual reputation—or, more importantly, your opinion of us.

We like to strategize.

You know what winning basketball teams do? They analyze game footage to gain valuable intel that they can’t spot when adrenaline is running high. Sometimes they watch video of their own games, and sometimes they watch video of other teams. It helps them decide which plays they should be running more often and which tend to go nowhere. See where I’m going with this one? It’s not like we’re using porn as a template and copying everything they do, but it can definitely clue us in to positions we want to try or fantasies we want to share with you.

As a parting thought, let me emphasize that men (at least, most of us) see porn as a supplement to sex. It’s not a replacement. Consider the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s kinky sexual escapism, and it sold more than 100 million copies worldwide. But chances are it didn’t become a stand-in for sex with your partner. The point is, ideas that start as fantasy can easily translate into their own storyline, and that storyline might well play out in your real-life bedroom. So if you’re cool with it, most of us are totally down to watch porn with you. Because the more open we are about our fantasies, the better our sex lives will be.