A New Year time for some Great Sex Tips
In this blog i’m going to steer more towards highly practical advice on how to make sex feel great for HER (the woman in the marriage!). Some women sometimes have a more difficult time enjoying sex, so I’m going to give some specific tips on how to get those fireworks. So here goes!
Try a New Position
Sometimes we get into a rut and we’re afraid to try something new. But new positions can make things feel more exciting.
I have one particular position I stick with for two main reasons: it tends to feel the best, and it’s really cold in the winter and I don’t like getting out of the covers! But there’s an easy way to deal with that. Get a space heater for your bedroom and turn it on when you’re getting ready to make love. Then the fear of being cold won’t hold you back as much.
And if you have an easier time reaching orgasm in one position (most women do), that’s no reason not to try other positions as foreplay. Moving around during sex, and changing positions, has several benefits: it helps him last longer; it helps increase the excitement factor; it helps you keep your mind on what’s going on (since women are notorious for our minds drifting during sex).
A new position can honestly feel great! So try it. Get on top. Move your legs around and find a good angle. Or whatever works for you!
Tilt Your Pelvis
Here’s something we talked about in Female Ejaculation the tricks on how to Squirt, or even the 13 Steps to Better Orgasms we have to have our the clitoris stimulated in some way. Normal missionary position sex doesn’t tend to do this. But with one simple trick you can make it so much better. Just tilt your pelvis up (like squeeze your butt muscles, and your pelvis will tilt forward). When you do this, you make the angle better, so that when he’s thrusting he will hit your clitoris. But you also “engage” that little bit of flesh yourself because the tilting actually squeezes the clitoris. Seriously. Just try it right now–tilt your pelvis. Feel the difference?
You can do this in any position and enhance the pleasure, but often you have to actually get the position to work first before you tilt, or he’ll have a hard time entering you.
Start with a Massage
Here’s one of course you’ll agree with: start sex with a massage. Keep some massage oil in the bedside table, or a massage candle, and start by massaging each other’s backs and legs. Or even a soft cock massage, The benefits? It helps you relax first so that you can get rid of all worries of the day. Also you may need to strip to have a massage so being naked, it soon gets very sensual, and it can get the libido going.
Play Teacher or Dom
Just because you’re married doesn’t mean that you understand each other sexually and if your Poly as well you might have learnt something new with a 2nd. What feels good to one person does not necessarily feel good to another. And men tend to like being touched very differently than women do. Also, just because something is an erotic zone does not mean that it wants to be touched all the time. For instance, some women don’t like their breasts touched roughly at all, or even handled that much, but when they’re highly aroused all of a sudden it’s exciting. So we’re different, and we like specific things.
Take a session or two where you play teacher or dom. Tell him exactly what to do, like he is a pupil / sub and he has to do everything you say. Pay attention to your body, and ask him to do anything you want. You can even be quite demanding! Then the next time turn the tables and let him take the lead . You just may learn a lot about each other.
Think Pressure, not Friction
Men tend to feel aroused by friction–he likes the rubbing back and forth. That can be pleasurable for women, too, but what really tends to help us is pressure–pressure on the clitoris, but also the pressure of feeling “full”.
Instead of thrusting all the way out and all the way in, then, try for part of making love to get him as deep as possible and and thrust only a little bit, so that the pressure is quite intense all the time. To help this, try wrapping your legs around him, or even have him kneel while you lie down to help him go deeper. Other positions, like having you lie on your stomach while he lies on top of you, can help with pressure, too.
Squeeze
To get that same feeling of pressure, try squeezing him while he’s inside you. That’s not as hard as it sounds. You use your Kegel muscles (the ones on the wall of vagina). They’re the same muscles that are engaged if you stop the flow of urine on the toilet. Do that a few times and you’ll feel what muscles I mean. Then try the same squeezing when you’re making love. This helps with that “pressure” feeling for you, and helps him feel great, too!
Use Lubricant
Seriously. It’s not a failure on your part if you need to use lubricant we even did a parody post of the use sun screen Poem. But just the use of Lube often enhances the pleasure right away. You may not need it all the time, but most women fluctuate through the month with their ability to get aroused quickly, and with the amount of lubrication we naturally produce. Some nights may be great, and others may not. Menopause or breastfeeding and pregnancy throw another wrench in the whole thing. Lubricant can help you get a leg up, so to speak, so that sex is arousing right away.
More Foreplay–And I’m Talking to You, Women!
Think of foreplay not as something that he does to you, but as something that you BOTH do. If you can become active BEFORE you start making love, you’ll find yourself much more aroused. Rub yourself against him. Climb on top of him and feel him. Take his hand and put it where you want it to go. Circle your hips and help him. If you’re lying there while he touches you, you can start to feel embarrassed, or bored, or nervous. If you’re engaged in the process, it’s more exciting for both of you.
