Beginner’s Guide To Being Submissive

How Can Feeling Powerless Feel Good?

So some often believe that there is something wrong with them, because they want to be submissive to their partner. The truth is that it’s perfectly normal to feel this way. But wanting to be submissive can conflict with how society expects you to behave, Domination and submission, power and surrender, mean different things for different people. For some it’s about having a chance to trust someone else to take control. For others it’s the pure physical sensation spanking, flogging, licking, restraints that bends the mind, the antithesis of thinking in straight hard lines. Being held in just the way you need to be by someone stronger than you are in that moment, being told what to do in the safe context of a mutually agreed upon power exchange, is pretty damn intoxicating. You are expected to constantly act confident and even a little aggressive. This may conflict with how you really feel, internally.

So the first thing is to accept that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be more submissive. Some people naturally feel this way, while others naturally feel like being more Dominant.

There’s Quite A Mix Of Different Types Of Subs

When you are figuring out how to be submissive, you may start to think that there is only one way to embrace your submissiveness that you need to be either totally submissive to someone or not at all. The truth is that everyone feels either submissive or dominant to varying degrees. Some feel it more than others and thus, want to experience it more deeply than others. You might feel like going into complete submission to your partner, where they control every aspect of your life or maybe you only want to be submissive in certain ways or at certain times. Again, it’s important to come to terms with this being something that’s completely normal.

For some, the only type of submission that they ever want to experience is giving their man oral sex.

OK, now that we have talked about the fact that it’s totally normal to feel submissive and even desire to be submissive; as well as, submission being a spectrum as opposed just one simple defined thing, lets talk about some ways to experience your submissiveness with a partner.

Talk To Your Partner About It

The first stage to getting your partner to understand your submissive tendencies and the fact that you want to learn how to be more submissive is talking to them about it. Coming right out and telling them everything about it may be a bit “too much, too soon.” A better approach is slowly building up to this by telling them about the things you enjoy doing for them, that just happen to be submissive, while also letting them know that you enjoy them being dominant. Starting with simple things is best, before graduating to telling them about the more extreme submissive tendencies you may have.

Being Submissive Does Not Mean Being Weak

Just because you want to learn how to become more submissive for your partner does not mean that you need to become weak or feeble when you are around them. In fact, he will probably respect you less if you do start acting weak and feeble around them. To make sure that your partner still totally respects you while you submit to them, it’s important that you both establish some ground rules so that it never gets to a point where you no longer have control in your life and he has total control.

Safety First … ALWAYS. 

A major component of establishing some ground rules with your partner when you are being submissive is what’s called a “safe word.” This is a word that you wouldn’t ordinarily use to let your partner know that you are no longer comfortable with being submissive and want them to stop. Making sure that you both know the safe word and when to use it is crucial.

With men who Dominate women and the women who enjoy surrendering to them. BDSM and abuse are not the same, and we can’t intellectualise sexual desire away. Public discussion by “sensible” people inevitably harkens back to what a woman will put up with for “love”.

How about the fact that lots of women & men want to feel dominated because it feels good.