Trxz over on her blog wrote, I received the February edition of The Family Handyman, a fun little magazine with loads of DIY home improvement tips and tricks. This month there was an interesting article called “20 Secret Hiding Places” which was a list of clever ways to hide your valuables around the house. Pervert that I am I couldn’t help thinking about some kinky crossover appeal for those who play around the house, or for those who have curious younglings. So with that in mind….

12 Secret Hiding Places for Kinksters

1.The Old Hollowed-Out Book Trick 

Any Big Lots or Walmart will have a hollowed out book to use for storage (Ed or even Etsy i found these great ones as shown in the featured image for this post). Sure they may be great for hiding some cash or a passport (even if they are completely conspicuous on a book shelf) but they wouldn’t do much good for hiding anything larger than say…a pair of handcuffs. So give this a try. Take 10-12 books of the same size (can slip a kinky title or two in there…The Story of O, Justine, Marquis de Sade, etc) and cut them down with a band or jig saw till you are left with only an inch or two of the binding. Build a plywood box the size of the remainder of the book. Attach the 1-2” portion of the book side by side to the front of the plywood box with a strong glue (construction grade). If you want the sides to be visible remember to keep the appropriate cover on the end pieces and glue them down. Now you have a 1-1/2’x6-8” box that can be kept in plain sight! Plenty of room for a flogger, rope or a dildo big enough to satisfy even the biggest size queen!

2. Right Out In The Open

The magazine suggest using an old vacuum with a bag compartment for this. Now I don’t know about you but I don’t have an old non-working vacuum just lying around the house. So instead I substituted something I have and have used for concealed storage; an old computer tower. I removed the casing and gutted it. (Yay, extra memory!) Once gutted I used a thin, flexible plastic cutting board (available at most dollar stores in packages of 2), trimmed it, glued and taped it into place creating interior walls. Then just slip the casing back in place (no need for screws) and voila! A large area for you to store valuables (kinky or otherwise) that no one will think twice about.

3. Air-Return Stash

Cut out a stud space opening to fit a return air grille. Cut off the grille screws and glue just the heads in place. Run 4 drywall screws into the corners of the opening so they fit just inside the rim of the grille. Then glue magnets to the back of the grille so they line up with the screw heads. Now you have a concealed space in the wall that no one would suspect a thing! Excellent for hiding larger items like chains and restraints.

4. Buried Treasure

Got any “life challenged” (plastic) plants? Then you’ve got a hidey spot! Usually the “soil” they sit in tends to be of the Styrofoam variety. Cut the bottom half to 2/3rds off. This creates a handy dandy hidey hole large enough to fit a doubled over flogger, slapper or similar.

5. Ming Vase of Kink

If you happen to have a tall ornamental vase then you probably already know how handy they can be for hiding stuff. If your vase is at least 3’ tall it is an excellent place to hide some crops or canes! A rigid piece of plastic can be fit inside the vase’s opening (under the neck) with holes to slide your crops into. This way they hang freely and won’t bend. A similarly colored ceramic bowl can be inserted into the neck of the vase to hide the crops from prying eyes. If you get a good fit on the bowl no one will ever notice that it doesn’t belong.

6. False-Bottomed Drawer 

Pick a deep drawer so the depth change won’t be obvious. Computer desk drawers can be ideal for this. Cut 1/4” plywood 1/16” smaller than the drawer opening and rest it on a couple of wood strips that are glued to the drawer sides. Then hot-glue some item you’d expect to find in that drawer to the bottom so you have a handle to lift the false bottom and reveal the booty!

7. Cabinet Hidey-Hole

Between almost every pair of upper cabinets, there is a 1/2” gap. Take advantage of that gap by hanging long thin items you don’t want seen there. Use large binder clips to keep the item(s) from slipping down. Crops? Canes? Have a slave contract you don’t want to lose but don’t want to file with the tax returns? This is a good place to store it!

8. Toe-Kick Hideaway

There is an enormous 4” tall cavity under most to all kitchen cabinets behind the toe-kicks. It may take a little carpentry skills but you can pull the toe-kicks free and make them removable. Most are 1/4” plywood held in place with 1” brads, and they are plenty easy to pull off. (If you have a secondary 3/4” toe-kick, you will have to cut it out at both ends. An oscillating tool works well for that task.) Stick both halves of a round hook and loop self-adhesive tape to the toe-kick. Then push the toe-kick into place. The adhesive will stick to the cabinet base and leave half the hook and loop tape in place when you pull it free. You can store whatever you want under there! A cash box is the perfect size, though I have known someone to fit an entire under-the-bed storage tote under his cabinets!

9. Stair Storage

Chances are that under your stair boards contain a ready-made box for you to store your kinky gear. Pry up a tread and attach a hinge. BAM! I recommend also adding a baby safe cabinet lock to keep the tread from lifting (and tripping you) if you catch it with your toe.

10. PVC Party Time!

Play in the basement? Well chances are you might have some exposed pipes. For about $10 you can make a fake PVC pipe complete with a cleanout plug. Unscrew the plug and you have an area large enough to fit a flogger or dildo. NO ONE will suspect it is ANYTHING other than what it appears to be!

11. Putting Your Kink Back IN The Closet

Have an old jacket you don’t wear anymore? Then you have a great hidey spot for your hanging toys! Sew the bottom of the jacket closed and add a couple of hooks to the bottom of a hanger (The Better Built Bondage Book has a great how-to for this). Hang your floggers/whips from the hooks and then zip up the jacket! Out of sight… perhaps not so out of mind!

12. I’m Game!

In this digital age they may be going the way of the dodo but if you are like me you still enjoy a good board game. Hell I have a shelf in the closet full of them! I also have a couple of 1000 piece puzzle boxes even though I hate jigsaw puzzles. But the boxes make excellent and convenient places to sock away a bandana, rope and a toy or two for when I want an impromptu play session. The boxes are sturdy and rigid so you don’t have to worry about things being piled on top harming your toys inside. Plus chances are no one is coming to your house and saying “OH! Let’s jigsaw!” unless of course there is a dildo attached!

Ed: Thank to Etsy shop BookEndDesignsAD for the Featured image check out there shop for more sneaky storage.