White ones
So is it ever ok to lie? The answer has to be yes doesn’t it? If it’s a lie that doesn’t hurt but protects? Well maybe. But doesn’t everything have a consequence also? If you tell a lie and that lie is revealed is the real truth not then magnified not to mention the trust broken?
Can you live your life without ever telling a lie? Well I guess that depends how you live your life? If you’re me then errr no! I’m mean I’m pretty honest, brutally most of the time but there is a line where even this old dog can’t go. When it comes to hurting people you love I prefer to go with the lie and try to manage it so there isn’t any fallout. If there is fall out then hope that the initial lie is viewed in such a way that recognises it was meant to protect not hide.
Ambiguous? Maybe
When telling lies the best thing you can do is try to stick as close to the truth as possible otherwise your going to need a good cover story and believe me no matter how good you are questions will come up that you haven’t considered that you’re going to have to think fast about and then slot into the memory bank to be recalled later along with the initial lie. Exhausting.
Anyway I put myself in a position where I was sort of having to do all of that this week and I realised that was what was making me feel bad wasn’t actually the lying it was the fact that I was doing something that was giving me a reason to lie in the first place. So there is the answer, if you’re in a position where you are going to need to lie, ask yourself the question that does your behaviour justify the lie, does what you are doing matter enough to you to possibly cause the potential hurt that you just might cause?
It doesn’t matter what the lie was, what matters is that I removed the reason for the lie. Doesn’t take away the fact that I still lied but for me I learned something valuable.
Conduct yourself in a fashion in which you would expect to be treated and you will feel less guilt, less remorse and have better friendships, relationships and more happiness as a result.
The term player is bandied around a lot and as this is a sex related site its worth considering the implications of that. If you’ve got game then good for you but what do you get? I relationship or scenario based on lies, no matter how cold you are you will feel some remorse for the suffering you will cause. Respect of your friends? Maybe in terms of kudos but do they trust you, why should they? Finally reputation, things have a nasty habit of coming full circle, the cliché small world exists for a reason, when you have exhausted all the pieces on the board what are you left with?
Material objects, notches on bed posts and anecdotes to tell down the pub are one thing but true friends are something to treasure. To paraphrase Jerry, be true to yourself and each other.
