12 Things I May Think While Sucking Cock
In response to some of the sappy, porn-star-esque ’12 Things About Blowjobs” that have been doing the rounds.
1) I hope it’s been washed…
2) I really hope it’s been washed… seriously, how hard is it to pull the foreskin back and give it a rinse?
3) It’s kind of got that pissy odor. Fine, whatever. I’ll just use (lots of) spit. Grim.
4) Right, down to business. It tastes tolerable now so I can start focusing on actually sucking this thing.
5) Suck suck suck, fondle, suck suck, lick, suck, DEEPTHROAT, gag, suck suck, lick.
6) Repeat.
7) Fuck, I forgot the balls. I wonder if I can fit them both in my mouth.
8) More sucking.
9) Oh, you want to orgasm? Tough.
10) Heh, I’m wet. Still can’t work out why blowjobs get me so excited compared to direct clit action. Weird.
11) How can I finish this off in a classy way without getting a mouth full of lukewarm gunk?
12) Shit, it’s gunna blow! ABORT ABORT ABORT!
Obviously I left out the vomit stage.
Alternative endings:
a) Ugh, okay. I love you so I’m going to be a good and (try to) swallow but don’t expect me to thank you.
b) It’s on my tongue it’s on my tongue get it off get it off
c) I’m horny so we’re ending this one with me on top whether you like it or not. Fortunately, I’m pretty sure you do like it.
d) Great. The cat puked on the bed. Again.
e) My jaw aches so fucking much and I have a dead arm. This ends here so if you want to blow your load you’d better fuck me.
f) Maybe if I can keep you on the edge long enough you’ll get frustrated and just screw me…
